Watching a Dream Die

Have you ever stood still enough to feel the wind stop blowing, to hear the birds stop their chirping, then all you have is an eery silence. I did today. As I cleand up my sewing room and put away my inventory from the market I realezed I had just watched my dream die. I thought it was a good dream. Something I looked forward to. Something I could attain. But some things just don't come to pass. At least not now. i am very saddened today as I see things I love dissappear in front of me. So I work furiously to put the reminders of what is lost to me away so i can not dwell on them. I pull away from friends I hold dear to quicken the end of this dream turned nightmare by mental health.
Growing up with parents like mine was more than difficult. And as many teens I rebelled. Then I ran, I ran over a thousand miles to get away from them. I found love and then marraige and then children. My life is all about my children. My marraige is just there. It is empty and without love. Well i should with out being "in love" for I do love him. I was "in love" with him for years. But finally the mental health crap took that away. For you see he is bi-polar. And goes on and off his meds. For 6 monthes he has been off. He is at the point of driving me insane. If I could I would run a thousand miles again. Start over